Valentine's Day: The post-millennial glossary to glo up this day for you

You are a teen with an old soul. You are a 20-something who's basic. You are a Gen-X with the heart of a Gen-Z. You are all low key tired AF catching up with what the millennials are talking about. (SMH). And if you are any or one of these, when it comes to the new dating scene aka hooking up, we know #thestruggleisreal.

Are you able to tell if someone is tuning you? Is your bae giving you the slow fade? Are you ghosting and you don't know it? If you nodded sideways to some or all of these, let me help you before your partner starts cushioning. 

Creative credit: tech2/Nandini Yadav

I'm putting together this definitive list of millennial lingo that you'll need to side hustle on while you get your Valentine's Day game on. So read on, take notes and get ready to drake to this musical new language of the post-millennials.

Hooking up: Unless you've been living under a rock or you are a person in your 40s, 50s or beyond, you'd know that the word 'dating' has been cancelled and they are calling it a hookup or hooking up now.

Tuning: You don't 'hit on' people anymore, you tune. If a potential Valentine's date is tuning you, hope for things to get a bit more intimate this V-day. This could mean some serious lurking around your social media or maybe texting late at night.


Slow Fade: This is never good news. If your partner is giving you the slow fade, that means the love (or whatever had you two going) is fizzing out. Fewer texts, fewer Snaps, fewer DMs are a few indications. Defs not a good sign.

Ghosting: That's what comes after someone gives you the slow fade — they start ghosting you. When those texts, Snaps, and DMs go from few to none, you are likely being ghosted. Unfortunately, they're just not that into you.

And if you've got some pride here, I'd say you say Bye Felicia. Who Felicia? Well, the what's-h(er)is-name who ghosted you.


But if someone who is ghosting you returns, there's a word, actually two, for that too, they call it haunting or zombie-ing.

Cushioning: Ok, this may hurt a little. When your SO or the significant other (get that in your notes too) keeps their tuning-radar (aka flirtations) on with people other than you, know that they are cushioning you.

Breadcrumbing: If someone has you on the hook, they're breadcrumbing you. They're throwing you a little bait to keep you interested, maybe feeding a hungry ego while they go around keeping their options open.

DTR: You are sitting on that intimate round dinner table, with white silk table cloth falling towards your lap, a candle lit between you two, the place smells like lilies and Jazz is playing in the background. And suddenly your date asks you to DTR (*eeeeek*). From here, your relationship can go as wrong as it can go right. DTR aka Define the Relationship, is when your partner asks you to have THAT talk. *shudders* Good luck with that!


Umfriend: When you are asking yourself: Are we friends with benefits? Is it a romance in the making? Do you say ummm a lot when you introduce them to your friend? Basically, if you have that person in your life with whom you are still deciding your relationships, you call them your umfriends.

Send Nudes: It's pretty much what it sounds like. They are asking for your naked pictures. These requests are a big part of the hook-up scene, whether you are on a dating app or in a relationship. You'd likely hear that quite often.


There's also the other side of this coin, which is the unsolicited d*ck pics. Again a huge part of the hook-up scene.


Netflix and Chill: If you are making plans for the 14th and your date says "come over, we'll Netflix and Chill", I'd say your date night's going to be lit. Netflix and Chill is the more polite way of saying “Let’s turn on this movie we have no intention of watching and then fool around on the couch.” Well, would you say no to that?

Pro tip: If you receive 🍆 or 🍑 in your DM on the Valentine's (or any other) night, I say Run Forest Run, they are hungry, and not for food, if you know what I mean!


Also Read: The Ultimate Valentine's Day list of Adult Entertainment, Toys, and Gadgets to try

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